Sweep me up We are all God's unwanted children, so let's bitch and whine about our feelings.

Robert Rodriguez’s hack ‘em and slash ‘em revels in its cheesy plotlines, grindhouse gore and smutty encounters. The film born from the faux-trailer in previous hit ‘Planet Terror’, Machete is the mutilated love child of 70’s B-movies and Hollywood's current best and brightest. Despite its trashy exterior, Machete boasts one of the most star studded casts of 2011, recruiting the likes of Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and Danny Trejo as the eponymous, Machete.

This tasteless, nausea inducing slice of psychopathic fun is wrapped in a social commentary criticising America’s attitude towards illegal immigration, particularly the Mexican variety. Don’t let this critique of contemporary politics put you off though, Machete puts the big words away and brings out the big guns. Subtlety takes a vacation in Rodriguez’s latest attack on the senses, everything about this productions screams melodrama and aggression.

On the surface Machete uses a tried and tested revenge movie template with our anti-hero (Danny Trejo) seeking to avenge the murder of his wife and daughter by the drug baron, Torrez (Steven Segal). Yet through all the twists and weaves the film ends in a revolucion of Mexican day labourers tied in with the infamous ‘Network’, an underground group that aid and abet illegal immigrants and integrate them into society. To explain how these two things come about would take digression to a new scale and as such, the bulk of the plot will remain unexamined.

What can be said though is huge swathes of the film and a few characters for that matter, are entirely redundant. Now in most films a high profile cast would be something to laud and appreciate;big names often bring big performances. In a film like Machete however the glitz and glamour of a De Niro or an Alba are unnecessary and add nothing to the film. De Niro’s rather wooden performance as Senator Mclaughlin lacks any of his usual dynamism or presence, and leaves you wondering why on Earth did they cast him in such an unimportant role anyway? The same comments can be said for Jessica Alba, whose character is so unessential to the plot it’s a wonder they even bothered to write it at all. In a genre that emphasises the cheap and the shoddy and appeals to the cult-market expensive additions like those two haven’t contributed much.

But for all the window dressing, the meat and bones of Machete is where the fun lies. Danny Trejo excels as the vigilante Federale known only as Machete in what is his first, and long overdue leading role. His head-removal style of apprehension provides as much squeamish enjoyment the first time as it does the last time…if there is ever a last time. As you would expect, the action sequences, special effects and ‘Spanglish’ dialogue are all right on the money. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself cursing in Spanish for a few days after watching, in fact I think it’s mention as a side effect underneath the age rating.

 

“You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw, you know, a machete... “

 

The script is very tongue-in-cheek, moving seamlessly between cursing in English and cursing in Spanish, executed wonderfully by its largely Latino cast. It’s very much a one liner film full of dead-pan deliveries from Danny Trejo, although everything said in Segal’s faux-Mexican accent is self-evidently amusing. As much humour is derived visually as it is audibly, a number of Tarantino-esque shoot-outs involving everything from shotgun wielding priests to stripper pole nurses provide genuinely hilarious moments.

A worthy homage to B-movie action films Machete earns its place at the table of ‘fantastic ways to waste an hour and a half’. It lacks the guile to be remembered as a classic, and goes a little wayward towards the end but it is a film that will be remembered in segments rather than as a whole. As memories of the overarching plot begin to fade like bloodstains on your leather jacket, scenes like the intestinal-abseiling and Lindsay Lohan’s drug addled Nun-Assassin will be burned into your retinas until the next head rolls in ‘Machete:Kills’.