Sweep me up We are all God's unwanted children, so let's bitch and whine about our feelings.

Robert Rodriguez’s hack ‘em and slash ‘em revels in its cheesy plotlines, grindhouse gore and smutty encounters. The film born from the faux-trailer in previous hit ‘Planet Terror’, Machete is the mutilated love child of 70’s B-movies and Hollywood's current best and brightest. Despite its trashy exterior, Machete boasts one of the most star studded casts of 2011, recruiting the likes of Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez and Danny Trejo as the eponymous, Machete.

This tasteless, nausea inducing slice of psychopathic fun is wrapped in a social commentary criticising America’s attitude towards illegal immigration, particularly the Mexican variety. Don’t let this critique of contemporary politics put you off though, Machete puts the big words away and brings out the big guns. Subtlety takes a vacation in Rodriguez’s latest attack on the senses, everything about this productions screams melodrama and aggression.

On the surface Machete uses a tried and tested revenge movie template with our anti-hero (Danny Trejo) seeking to avenge the murder of his wife and daughter by the drug baron, Torrez (Steven Segal). Yet through all the twists and weaves the film ends in a revolucion of Mexican day labourers tied in with the infamous ‘Network’, an underground group that aid and abet illegal immigrants and integrate them into society. To explain how these two things come about would take digression to a new scale and as such, the bulk of the plot will remain unexamined.

What can be said though is huge swathes of the film and a few characters for that matter, are entirely redundant. Now in most films a high profile cast would be something to laud and appreciate;big names often bring big performances. In a film like Machete however the glitz and glamour of a De Niro or an Alba are unnecessary and add nothing to the film. De Niro’s rather wooden performance as Senator Mclaughlin lacks any of his usual dynamism or presence, and leaves you wondering why on Earth did they cast him in such an unimportant role anyway? The same comments can be said for Jessica Alba, whose character is so unessential to the plot it’s a wonder they even bothered to write it at all. In a genre that emphasises the cheap and the shoddy and appeals to the cult-market expensive additions like those two haven’t contributed much.

But for all the window dressing, the meat and bones of Machete is where the fun lies. Danny Trejo excels as the vigilante Federale known only as Machete in what is his first, and long overdue leading role. His head-removal style of apprehension provides as much squeamish enjoyment the first time as it does the last time…if there is ever a last time. As you would expect, the action sequences, special effects and ‘Spanglish’ dialogue are all right on the money. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself cursing in Spanish for a few days after watching, in fact I think it’s mention as a side effect underneath the age rating.

 

“You ever noticed how you let a Mexican into your house just because he's got gardening tools? No questions asked, you just let him right in. Could have a chainsaw, you know, a machete... “

 

The script is very tongue-in-cheek, moving seamlessly between cursing in English and cursing in Spanish, executed wonderfully by its largely Latino cast. It’s very much a one liner film full of dead-pan deliveries from Danny Trejo, although everything said in Segal’s faux-Mexican accent is self-evidently amusing. As much humour is derived visually as it is audibly, a number of Tarantino-esque shoot-outs involving everything from shotgun wielding priests to stripper pole nurses provide genuinely hilarious moments.

A worthy homage to B-movie action films Machete earns its place at the table of ‘fantastic ways to waste an hour and a half’. It lacks the guile to be remembered as a classic, and goes a little wayward towards the end but it is a film that will be remembered in segments rather than as a whole. As memories of the overarching plot begin to fade like bloodstains on your leather jacket, scenes like the intestinal-abseiling and Lindsay Lohan’s drug addled Nun-Assassin will be burned into your retinas until the next head rolls in ‘Machete:Kills’.

Not content with one post documenting some of the most impressive pieces of contemporary photography I have, rather predictably, created a second post. The following photographers are slightly bigger names so maybe one or two of the photographs will be recognisable, and if not, well enjoy viewing them with fresh eyes.

 

Scott Stulberg is without doubt one of my favourite photographers, and these are a selection of photos from his South east Asia collection. Vibrant, intense and quite breath-taking, his full works are viewable here or alternatively, you could follow his blog.

 

This wonderfully off-beat series by Czech photographer Vlad Artasov is titled ‘Life of nails’. The series essentially entails recreating situations, emotions and scenarios using the common nail. The photos possess a dark, sombre quality to them  yet there remains an intimacy that is truly impressive. For more of Vlad’s animated nails, click here.

 

Soon I’ll be taking a more in-depth look at the work of photographer Tom Hussey. Until next time.

 

“A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety.”

^{Ansel Adams}

I’m not sure what to say to introduce an article about photography, perhaps I should have taken a picture of what I wanted to say and posted that. Either way, I’m not convinced good photographs even need much of an introduction, that is to say, the words detract from the images which detracts from the pleasure of viewing them. So without further delay.

 

 

These stunning, introspective self-portraits are from a young photographer called Alex Stoddard. These are a few photos from his 365 project. The entire collection can be found here.

 

 

Raw and evocative, Théo Gosselin adds a vintage feel to his photographs. Gosselin captures moments of intimacy and joy in his own nostalgic style, there’s a real sense of life and passion emanating from his collection which can be found here.

 

 

 

Jason Lee decided to document his children in possibly the most creative fashion I’ve encountered. These adorable shots are packed with fun and highlight Jason’s eye for really engaging photography. No doubt his two daughters will appreciate this unorthodox approach when they get older. You can find all of Jason Lee’s work here.

 

Part 2

My latest not-so-life changing decision of this year is to draw on my skin – permanently. I’ve decided to get some ink done, partly as a means to cover the scars on my arms and partly as a life-affirming message that I’ll be able to carry with me, you know, just in case my brain gets too full. I have my chosen appendage and I have my chosen venue, but as yet I haven’t quite decided what I would like written.

I figure as this will be a permanent feature of my body I would like it to have a fairly timeless and inspiring quality to it. Generic patterns and images just won’t cut it for me, they have no significance, there is no satisfaction in colouring myself in with doodles. I want to be able to look at my tattoo be reminded of something important to me, it should clarify my thoughts and ultimately I should be able to take comfort from it. When I’m lost and my mind is all at sea I want to know there will be one sobering thought that I can call upon for some clarity.

So you see this is quite an important thing for me, it will be different from the rest of the scars on my body, this scar will be created out of hope, not out of despair. There will be no blood this time, only the cool black ink, crystallising some piece of wisdom that I hold close my heart. Now the hardest part naturally, is deciding what this clever piece of wordplay should be, a single phrase or sentence that encapsulates my life philosophy…no small feat. So the first place I looked was patently among the things I draw most inspiration from, my favourite films, songs and books. After a few hours rifling through some choice lines I managed to isolate the people, films and songs and resonate my attitudes and feelings most eloquently.

Fight club, Waking life, the works of Lewis Carroll, Placebo, Nirvana, Oscar Wilde, Alfred Hitchcock. Anyone or anything that had made me stop and take stock of my life in the past featured on this shortlist of wry sayings and thought-provoking verbalisms. I compiled a shortlist and it sits in front of me as I type, a scrap of paper that’s contents will soon be transferred to my arm. I think I’ll ponder it some more, maybe even pick up a biro and scrawl them on my arm, try them out for size, see which ones feels like a good pair of jeans and which ones feel like a pair of shoes a few sizes too small.

Until next time (ooh, adds to shortlist).

Never have the disenfranchised, voiceless and forgotten had so much power to influence the world around them without the use of big pointy sticks or big-fuck-off-guns. Through social networking and viral mediums anyone, for the better or worse, can have their say, make their stand and change the world. From making the number 1 in the music charts to bringing back a chocolate bar right the way to giving a bedroom artist a record deal, the masses behind their computer screens can make it happen with the click of a mouse, welcome to the Youtube generation.

It’s a scary prospect for those of you who have ventured onto places like Youtube or Myspace and seen the endless parade of lobotomised chimps spouting their 2 cents worth in places they have no right to be, but for others a revolution from behind the keyboard, where you demand what you want and you bloody get it – fast. The world has truly shrunk; no one under the age of 18 will think anything of being able to talk with several different people from several different countries at the same time, wirelessly, sharing videos of cats playing pianos. It’s the most natural thing in the world, and don’t try to tell us otherwise.

Now with this comes a myriad of pros and cons but I’m just here to a celebrate a few of the best parts of our internet driven culture, our twittering, facebooking bebo of a Myspace, where Google reigns supreme and you can tell your life to fuck off! For us, the power of the ballot box had dissipated and the so called elite no longer hold our respect, not like our favourite Vlogger or celebrity on twitter.

Make or break – this power is in our hands, a Facebook group can build someone up to avalon before cruelly sweeping the pedestal from beneath their feet, all before you can say ‘send me another farmville invite and I won’t be responsible for my actions’. Facebook groups commonly do one of three things; 1.) Unites people in a common interest/idea 2.) Unites people in changing something 3.) Unites people in spreading misinformation and blatant lies. There are many worthy and notable examples of each type of group but I want to bring just one or two to your attention, either because they were ‘epic’ or because they were just downright alarming.

‘RIP Neil Bucannon’ – Now this would have been a very touching and sincere group…had Neil actually been dead. Yes, there was one fatal flaw in the set up of this group, the man for whom it was paying respects to was still alive and well, and rather startled to hear he’d died. The much loved Art attack presenter’s ‘death’ had stirred up so much sympathy and attracted so many members Neil’s agent decided to step in and put an end to the whole charade. Neil was apparently very touched by the overwhelming support but perhaps next time it’d be better to wait until he’s actually dead.

‘Rage against the machine for Christmas Number 1’ – Well, who’d have thunk it? They came, they saw, they knocked the X factor off its stage-managed, vote-rigging perch and it was all down to the good people off Facebook, and more specifically Tracy and Jon Morter, currently wallowing in their success at promoting the Rage comeback to the number 1 spot, against all odds. I’m sure this one be the last society altering group to grace our lives, how long until a general election is decided by Facebook? Surely Chuck Norris would be our Prime Minister come next May if that were the case.

Now Facebook groups aren’t the only tool for those of us who sit in swivel chairs playing online solitaire all day have of making things happen. Something as simple as a ‘subscribe’ button can change people’s lives. Even as I write this thousands, if not millions of aspiring artists ply their trade in front of their webcams hoping that they can build up a fan base online and attract the attention of a music producer or talent headhunter. And for those good enough, that will most likely happen, you see Youtube and websites like it are meritocracies, those who are good enough will be acknowledged and their talent will be rewarded. Unlike mainstream artists who rely on huge record labels plastering their faces on everything from bus stops to the back of chewing gum packets, ensuring their records play several thousand times a day on every radio station, arranging for them to be interviewed by Jonathan Ross and Graeme Norton, Youtube artists rely on people enjoying their music, and passing it onto a friend via word of mouth or email, or other web savvy techniques. They need people to rate their video highly for it to get any limelight, they need people to hit the right buttons and make the right noises for them to become successful. This removes the middle man, artists are playing directly to their audiences and their audiences are giving them instantaneous feedback. To me it’s a wonderful system and long may it continue, let the cream rise to the top and the chaff fade away into obscurity, it’s the natural order.

So there we have it, a generation standing up to oppression, calling for equality and fairness, fighting for the causes they believe in, making their opinions heard all from the comfort of their own bedrooms. My generation isn’t apathetic, they’re not lethargic or uninterested, they’re just programmed a slightly different way, inclined to speak up in a series of ‘lol’s and ‘Fml’s rather than a picket sign and a fluorescent hat and if you don’t like it, twitter me your complaint like a normal person. Peace out.

Ok recently I’ve taken quite an interest in all things sleep-related, from serious sleep deprivation to phase-delay and jet lag. After a friend of mine returned from a recent holiday over Christmas she reignited my interest in learning about the effects of sleep and sleep deprivation. She’s fairly used to travelling and therefore has experienced her fair share of the side-effects of globe hopping. She’ll come back and for the next week she’ll struggle to eat, sleep or function in the manner she had before she had gone away, everything will be completely out of synch. So I decided to turn to those fountains of information we call books, and several sleepless nights later, here’s what I pulled from them.

I’ll try to keep this post fairly jargon-lite and stick purely to the more meaty parts of some of the tips and tricks to get the most from sleep and its revitalising properties. Sleep is a vital part of existence for most living creatures but no one is better at shunning sleep or doing it incorrectly (you would have thought it’d be easy) than the human race. Now there are hundreds of myths circulating the web about ways to beat sleeping or the ideal number of hours to sleep and so on and so forth but the truth is, there is no standard, generalised shape or form to sleep and to get the most out of it, we’re all too different to build an ideal sleep model. I personally have a fairly unchanging biological rhythm and can get away with sleeping very few hours for weeks at a time without suffering any adverse effects. Others however require a solid 10 hours sleep a night to avoid fatigue or exhaustion. You see it all comes down to chemicals, social factors and our body-clocks (endogenous pacemakers to some of you), and each of us will get the most out of a different sleeping pattern. Now in an industrialised society it’s sometimes difficult to maintain a consistent sleeping pattern and some psychologists have linked this directly to the onset of organ diseases and increased risk of cancer.

This has lead people to ask some important questions, how can I regulate my sleep cycle and how do I get to sleep when I just can’t? Any users of Facebook or Myspace logging in at 3am in the morning will undoubtedly find a fair few messages reading something similar to this ‘OMG can’t sleep, help!’. The answer is sometimes simple, turn off your computer, lie down and shut your God damn eyes, other times we have to be a little trickier. Tiredness or drowsiness coincides with our biological rhythms and our levels of melatonin (a sleep inducing receptor in the brain). It’s also heavily impacted upon by external cues such as light or temperature (exogenous zeitgeibers) designed as an evolutionary response to keep us awake during the day and asleep at night. So by simply having lights on, whether it be lamps, room lights or a computer screen, we are inhibiting the production of melatonin and keeping ourselves more alert, and most importantly, awake. Our bodies you see, are very clever things, highly responsive to the world around us, when it gets colder at night our body responds by telling us we should ‘hibernate’ or sleep, and assuming we have listened and have gotten to sleep we will also experience a drop in body temperature at around 4:30am.

If we happen to be awake at this time we will be naturally colder than we would be at say 6:00pm when our core body temperature is highest. Of course the obvious still applies and the consumption of sugar prior to attempting sleep will never end well, often leading to alertness, restlessness and 3 hours of staring at the ceiling. Some foods can however aid sleep, primarily by increasing the levels of a sleep inducing substance in the body called ‘tryptophan’. Foods that are high in tryptophan include milk, eggs, meat, nuts, beans, fish, and cheese. Consumption of these foods will increase levels of tryptophan and increase the likelihood of falling asleep quickly at night.

So we’re designed to sleep at night, we function best this way and to go against this we’re fighting a losing battle with nature. But what if you have no choice and you must work night shifts, or you’re just stubborn and stay awake all night anyway? Well it’s certainly possible to live your entire life sleeping exclusively when the sun goes down but it may come with some adverse effects on your health. For one, you’re not getting any of the benefits of the natural light from the sun, this can cause deficiencies in vitamins B and D (which I’m told are very important) and also decreases melatonin production, which can lead to depression. In the long term it can lead to a number of different organ diseases and increased risk of mental health disorders. So in short, it’s probably best to sleep at night and be awake during the day, but far be it from me to dictate when others sleep.

 

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

Wilson Mizener

Now say you’re a perfectly regular sleeper, you get your 9 hours between 10pm and 7am and feel great for it, what happens if you get on a plane and go shooting off to some far flung part of the globe where they have the sheer cheek to have a different time zone? This question will seem obvious to many people, you’ll feel bloody awful, you’ll be sleep-deprived, short tempered, irritable, perhaps you’ll feel nauseous or even mild depression. This can easily ruin a much anticipated holiday and so there are probably a few things worth trying to counter the effects.

Firstly it’s probably best to understand how jet lag occurs. Jet lag is defined as a desynchronisation between the various biological rhythms within your body, such as your sleep-wake cycle and your eating cycle. It may also be exacerbated by stress levels, the low oxygen levels on the plane during the flight and the social adjustment to the customs of this new country. Now all the best advice from the experts comes in the form of initially increasing the deprivation, keep yourself awake until the correct sleeping time in that particular country, fast for a sustained period of time before finally eating at the correct times of that country and try to establish a social routine that maximises time spent outdoors and minimise exposure to artificial light. Now a combination of all these things should have you fully adjusted to life in a foreign country within the space of 2-3 days and the same applies when you return. Unfortunately there’s no miracle cure to jet lag but those techniques should go someway to easing the undesirable symptoms that come with it.

Finally, in this modern age where time=money some people have decided sleep is too much of an inconvenience and doesn’t fit into their hectic lifestyles, fair enough. So what they have done is prescribed themselves a variety of sleep suppressing drugs in order to stave off sleep and have substituted the benefits of a prolonged, undisturbed sleep for 5-6 twenty minute naps throughout the day/night. Surprisingly this new system appears to have worked for a large number of individuals without any major/noticeable side effects. Undergoing regular health checks it appears their extreme sleep/wake cycle is not doing them any harm and they’re free to continue their 22 hour waking existence. I’m presuming most people would struggle to give up their duvets and pillows to work extra hours, still, it’s an incredible development and could we possibly see a truly 24 hour society in the future?

I spoke of New Year’s resolutions before yet failed to touch upon my own for the coming year. Now this wasn’t a  deliberate ploy to give myself ammo for another blog post but was simply because I didn’t have any at the time. I was racking my brain for something that would actually have some substance and meaning, attainable, yet challenging, and finally I came up with something.

I’m a chronic and unashamed over-thinker. I analyse and deconstruct everything, extracting meaning, cause, possible outcomes, impossible outcomes and an array of things in between. Now sometimes this comes in useful, academic applications for example, this mental overdrive means I fair well

in areas of intellect and knowledge, but it’s a plague on other areas of my life. In matters of relationships and emotions, over-thinking leads to panic, anxiety and self-sabotaging acts. Now coupled with this I also have a tendency to invest too much in life, in trivial matters that have no consequence, in affairs have are of no concern of mine. I end up caring far too much about things beyond my control, things that will work themselves out in the grand scheme of things, things that hardly matter at all. Therefore I decided the best course of action this year would be two take out both pesky birds with one well placed resolutionary stone.

So this year I have elected to give my mind a rest when possible, and involve myself in more activities I enjoy rather than ones that I feel I should be doing. Now this may backfire and I end up a lazy, good-for-nothing hedonist, or  I could end up a little happier, a little less anxious and a little less overworked, I have faith in myself that the latter will be the result. Secondly I've decided to let things slide more, that is to say, care less about the goings on around me, take note of them, understand them, but ultimately not work myself into a panic attack worrying about the possible consequences and repercussions. Between these resolutions I hope to achieve more of an inner peace, a mind used but not overused and a conscience that isn’t so judgemental and tiresome.

Now there many more  character flaws to work on in the coming years but I feel these two are so relentlessly damaging to my life they must be worked on within the coming months. So far it’s going well, I feel refreshed and slightly more content with life, taking obstacles when they come and knowing that I can go straight through them with a wise enough head. As long as nothing too overwhelming occurs I do feel I’m better equipped with deal with life’s pseudo-problems and come out the other side relatively unscathed. What a difference a few short days can make.